US Gymnastics sex abuse scandal was even worse than believed

USA Gymnastics needs to undergo a “complete culture change” throughout the entire organization to more effectively protect young athletes from sexual predators, according to a damning report released Tuesday.

The 144-page report by former federal prosecutor Deborah Daniels suggests that a cultural shift throughout USA Gymnastics is needed following a series of civil lawsuits against the organization and the subsequent arrest of a former doctor who allegedly sexually abused teen gymnasts during their time on the team. Daniels later said the number of sex-abuse victims, already in the hundreds, in fact has been under-reported.

“In order to protect the young athletes in its charge, USA Gymnastics needs to undergo a complete cultural change, permeating the entire organization and communicated to the field in all its actions,” the report reads. “Further, USA Gymnastics needs to take action to ensure that this change in culture also is fully embraced by the clubs that host member coaches, instructors and athletes.”

Safety of athletes needs to be the “primary focus” moving forward, according to the report, which identified four aspects of making that change happen: a “strong voice” from the organization itself, clear standards of behavior, accountability and providing necessary resources to help maintain those standards.

“We believe, based on our extensive review, that only this kind of public shift in mindset, including changes in practice and a culture of accountability throughout the organization, will enable USA Gymnastics to improve its ability to protect the young competitors in its charge, and other young aspiring athletes, from harm,” the report continued. “The safety of countless young gymnasts throughout the country is dependent on the ability of USA Gymnastics to effect this cultural change.”

A judge in Michigan on Friday ordered Dr. Larry Nassar — a longtime USA Gymnastics Women’s National Team physician — to stand trial for allegedly assaulting six young gymnasts who claim he molested them during treatment for injuries. The case is one of four criminal proceedings against Nassar in the state, the Associated Press reports.

During a conference call with reporters Tuesday, Daniels said the number of athletes victimized in the sprawling sexual abuse scandal is “far higher” than the hundreds previously reported. But Daniels said she was unable to estimate how many club-level and elite gymnasts have been sexually abused because the sport’s governing body did not task her to investigate past misconduct, NBC News reports.

“This was a forward-looking report and not a rear-view-mirror report,” Daniels told reporters.

Former federal prosecutor Deborah Daniels speaks to reporters in September 2015.AP
The report cites Nassar several times and notes that a total of 41 women reportedly have filed or joined civil lawsuits against him alleging sexual abuse. He also has been indicted federally on child porn charges, according to the report.

The report also notes there’s no current written protocol for handling allegations of abuse, there’s insufficient accountability regarding the investigative process and no auditing of the procedure to make sure it’s being done appropriately.

“For example, while we are not aware of specific situations in which a temporarily suspended coach was permitted to continue coaching during his suspension, there appears to be no mechanism for ensuring this does not happen,” according to the report.

The report — which listed 70 recommendations by Daniels, many of which were unanimously approved by the USA Gymnastics Board of Directors — also called for policies banning adults from being alone with minor gymnasts “at all times” and prohibiting unrelated adults from sharing or being alone in a sleeping room with the young athletes.

Daniels also suggested USA Gymnastics adult members be blocked from having “out-of-program” contact with gymnasts via email, text or social media.

“We have a lot of important work ahead of us, but we will be a stronger and better organization by committing to meaningful change,” an open letter published Tuesday by USA Gymnastics read. “We will use the voices and perspectives represented in the report as a guide for the future. Success in competition is important, but not at the expense of an athlete’s health and safety. We are determined to do better.”

Inside the wildest open-air swingers festival ever

It’s typical festival weather — wet, windy and freezing.

But that’s not stopping the ­middle-aged woman strapped into a red leather swing, buffeting to and fro as she has sex with two men.

Squealing with delight, she’s letting the whole campsite know just how much she’s enjoying her threesome at the aptly named Swingfields Festival — Britain’s only open-air festival for swingers.

The trio’s swinging in the rain isn’t even dampened by the fact that guests can clearly be seen from the public highway.

This weekend, 700 frisky devotees descended on the normally sleepy ­village of Trellech, Monmouthshire, for three days of debauchery, which ran from Thursday until Sunday.

Like Glastonbury, the action unfolds in a muddy field, with tents offering different “delights.” But rather than music on offer, it’s various forms of sex — with drugs for sale on the side.

Sun photographer Neil Hope and I posed as a curious couple, wandering freely without anyone challenging us. Even though we seem to be the only people with our clothes on, no one has time to care.

In the main marquee I met Tony, a man mountain who is dressed for a Roman orgy theme night in a white toga, headdress and nothing else.

Batting a manhood that seems almost as big as a tent pole, he shouts to ­himself: “Think of the football! Think of the football! Gareth Bale! Gareth Bale!”

When I ask what he’s doing, he points to his erect penis and moans: “Trying to get rid of this.”

But 10 minutes later, Tony is grinning like a Cheshire cat after being crowned “Mr. Penis Swingfields 2016.”

Never thought I’d be naked in the middle of a field,covered in jelly, trying to wrestler a huge black man – took 8 ladies to pin him down 😉

Outside, it’s Swingfields Sports Day and the wet underwear competition is on.

Men don baggy pants while running around the outdoor arena having ice-cold water thrown on them.

Leading the pack is Chris, a bearded dwarf who, he says later, works as part of the Swingfields entertainment team.

His underwear is almost as big as he is, but like most of the other competitors, he soon discards it and runs round the ring naked, to the cheers of the crowd.

‘It’s like being in middle of one huge porn film.’
– Bill, a festival virgin
Earlier it was the wet T-shirt competition for women, although the T-shirts in question were ripped off in minutes.

It was won by Sam, a buxom blonde in her 20s who did a cartwheel and the splits to grab victory.

She later came in second in the “orgasm race,” where women pleasure themselves to “victory” in the quickest time while writhing around in the middle of the field. Top prize is a vibrator.

Next up is “c–k dribbling” — women and men wearing huge inflatable penises which they use to try to move a football around cones.

Last game is “toss the knob,” where competitors chuck three big foam willies into a massive pink foam vagina.

As I watch, I get approached by Bill, a swinging festival virgin. He’s 47 and has arrived along with a male friend. A couple’s ticket is $250 for the full three days, including a campsite.

Glamping tickets are available at nearly $1,300, but they sold out quickly.

Bill, from Manchester, says of the festival, which is now in its fourth year: “I can’t believe it, it’s like being in the middle of one huge porn film.

“I was in the couples tent and there were just bodies everywhere.

“I’m hoping to strike it lucky. I’ve been in the sex toy tent and brought lots of goodies. If you fancy it, you can come back to my tent and see what I’ve got.”

Thanking him for his offer, I feign tiredness. Bill tells me: “Do you want some coke? There’s a couple of blokes here selling it. My mate got 60 dollars’ worth yesterday, I don’t know how much that was for.

“If you want it, I can point out the bloke selling it when I see him.”

Drugs, along with cameras, are banned at the festival.

But there were no searches at any of the entrances and although attendees were told they would have to provide ID, we weren’t asked for any on arrival.

Instead we were just handed a welcome pack with a free condom and lube. Swingers, it turns out, are a mixed bunch. Some look like they have come straight off “The Jeremy Kyle Show,” ­others like they are on a day trip from the old folks’ home. And some look barely out of their teens.

One young girl tells me she is a “family support worker.” Another woman works at the checkout at Tesco, one man is a civil servant, others are factory workers, window cleaners, mechanics, hairdressers.

All of them are there for one thing — sex, and lots of it.

Every night, bands take to the main arena stage, bravely playing as the audience gets very friendly with each other.

One bloke asks a stranger to hold his pint as he joins in a foursome with his wife and another couple on the dance floor. He asks for his pint back once he is done.

Everywhere you look, people are at it — girls on girls, two girls on one guy, two guys on one girl. Very few condoms seem to be used.

Swingers call themselves “lifestylers” and most of the ones I speak to are Swingfields veterans.

The festival has taken place annually since 2013, and has previously been held in Gloucestershire and Worcestershire. This year’s is the first in Wales. It is quite a change of pace for quiet Trellech, previously best known for its standing stones, the admittedly suggestively shaped Harold’s Stones.

Wendy, of Leeds, would travel to wherever she had to. She explains: “It’s three days of fun where you can just do whatever you want.

“There are rules, so if someone doesn’t want to know or doesn’t want to do something, you respect that. But if they do, then it’s great.”

A girl bound to a frame is having hot wax dripped over her.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the action in the main tent, we wander over to the fetish hut, where a girl bound to a frame is having hot wax dripped over her. In the corner, another woman is chained to a cross while being lashed with a bullwhip.

Making our way back to our canvas roof for the night, we notice many other tents have signs up outside. One says: “Aylesbury Swingers.” Another declares: “Kat and Kim — Come on in.”

Sleep is impossible as there are sighs, screams of passion and whacks of canes on flesh all night long.

Saturday’s events include naked zorb balling and jelly wrestling.

We hit a bar where Chris the dwarf is organizing a naked life-drawing class.

This starts off sedately, until Chris livens up proceedings by producing a vibrating sex toy, which he uses on one of the beautiful models.

Over in the main bar, the king and queen of “SF16” are being crowned.

Then comes an announcement by one of the organizers that a newspaper has been asking local villagers about Swingfields, saying: “Apparently we’ve upset the vicar.” The crowd cheers.

The grand finale is a naked foam party with a “top Ibiza DJ” performing.

As the foam rises, Chris the dwarf disappears.

By Sunday morning, people are staggering around, getting ready to go home.

One couple dismantles the iron bed they had brought from home, complete with mattress.

Others troop off to the showers to clean their sex toys.

And with that, the filth fest is over for another year.

How the event works

Swingfields is run by couple ­Deborah and Stuart Wilson, who only reveal the location for each year’s event two days before it begins.

The festival’s website offers helpful tips on getting started as a swinger, along with advice on swinging terms and etiquette.

On arrival, you can choose from colored wristbands to advertise your sexual preferences. Cameras and phones are banned except those used by the organizers.

Tickets are meant to be on offer only to people over age 21 and who are already ­members of swinging sites. But no checks were made on us.

Eighty percent of festival-goers are couples, 10 percent are single women and 10 percent single males. Single males provide references when applying for tickets.

The Wilsons, of Gloucestershire, add on their site: “Be clean, smell nice, look good, feel good.”

There is supposed to be zero tolerance for drugs, but we were offered cocaine and there was a strong smell of marijuana in some areas.

‘A night of erotic freedom’ at NYC’s most exclusive sex party

Prowling wolflike around the sex party at a downtown hotel, hopeful guest Josh (who doesn’t want his last name mentioned) goes from black-lingerie-clad girl to black-lingerie-clad girl, asking for French kisses.

The 26-year-old Russian gets lucky a few times, but has a consolation prize for those who reject his advances — he hands them his business card, which boasts his job title of “chief technology officer” and a swank address on Park Avenue.

Last Saturday, about 100 of New York’s rich and beautiful gathered in the presidential suite of a luxury five-star hotel for orgies and live sex shows. It was the first of several Manhattan parties held by Snctm, an elite erotic club based in Los Angeles that counts Gwyneth Paltrow and Bill Maher among its fans. The Post had exclusive access to the party but agreed not to name the location, where partiers got kinky on an outdoor terrace, tiptoeing around a giant, glass-bottomed Jacuzzi.

Although there is sex aplenty, Gothamites are found to be a bit less freewheeling and more interested in professional connections than their laid-back California counterparts.

“It’s so new, and a lot of first-timers are voyeurs,” Snctm director of operations Nicolas de la Kethulle tells The Post. “Maybe we are more frivolous in LA because it’s been happening there for five years.”

Men pay $1,500 to $1,875 (the discount rate applies when you bring a female partner) to attend each party, or buy an annual VIP membership for $75,000, which includes admission to all parties, access to private rooms, unlimited Cristal Champagne and a sterling silver pendant of a lion that shows they’re a top-of-the-food-chain kind of guy. Carefully vetted, beautiful women — who outnumber the guys by about three to one — pay zilch.

“We had close to 1,000 applications for this event and we’re letting in about 100,” explains Snctm founder Damon Lawner, a divorced father of two. “It’s a highly curated crowd.”

Fashion student Katie*, a Mormon raised in Utah, does more than just watch. The 22-year-old came with a 31-year-old Tinder date, but after he fails to rise to the occasion in a foursome, she goes looking for hotter prospects.

“It’s great, but a little overwhelming,” the pretty brunette, clad in a black thong, garter belt and Wolford lace stockings, tells The Post as she surveys the room. “It’s a very sexy crowd.”

Lawner describes the New York men who made the cut as “masters of the universe.” Certainly, Wall Street is well-represented, as is the tech industry. There are no recognizable celebrities, but there are around 25 relatively attractive 20- to 60-something males sharply dressed in tuxedos.

The 75 women, meanwhile, range in age from early 20s to mid-40s. Slightly more filled-out than their LA peers — we’re talking an average size 4 in New York, compared to a half-starved size 0 on the West Coast — they channel the movie “Eyes Wide Shut,” wearing designer lingerie and heels. Unlike the beautiful people of the Golden State, they don’t all look camera-ready for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. But most are well-manicured and immaculately coiffed, although one girl has (gasp!) a little muffin top going on.

Black is the favored color. A woman in her early 40s — surgically enhanced with long black hair extensions — stands out in a virginal all-white number made up of a bustier, thong and garter. Perhaps it’s her wedding night.

She is mesmerized by an opening show set to deep house music in which a priestlike man in a golden mask has sex with a woman clad in a tight PVC skirt with a conveniently placed zipper. Just feet away from the guests, another performer is simultaneously using a sex toy on Ms. PVC.

Later in the evening, a similarly masked man leads, on a chain, a woman on all fours around the party. Dressed in a black G-string and cat ears, her breasts exposed under a sheer black cape, she playfully licks the legs of the women in the room.

“I like to be a pet,” she purrs. “You can pet me.”

‘It’s a very sexy crowd … I was expecting older, fatter men.’
– Katie, Snctm guest
She and four other extroverted performers and “fluffers” were specially flown in by Lawner from LA. Another seven are local to New York. According to the boss, their job is to “set the tone for a night of erotic freedom.”

Katie certainly lets loose. By 3?a.m., she’s had sex with six people, including a threesome with a 50-something sugar daddy who possesses an enviable six-pack and his beautiful Latina “baby.”

“I was expecting older, fatter men, to be honest, so I’m pleasantly surprised,” she says.

Thanks to the sugar daddy, Katie secures tuition for her third year of college and a round-trip flight to Los Angeles. The sugar daddy wants her to come with him to the next Snctm party in Hollywood, set for the end of April. (Manhattan’s next event is May 13.)

De la Kethulle takes stock of the evening and declares the event a success.

“People are actually having sex,” he says. “It’s nice that New Yorkers are having fun.”

* All guests at the party asked for their last names not to be used for professional reasons.

Fire department probes pic of couple having sex in fire engine

Holy smokes!

A photograph showing some hot action aboard a fire engine has left officials in Manchester red-faced.

The X-rated image was posted online by a man claiming to be a firefighter in the British city who is seeking “fellow swingers,” reported The Sun.

A naked blonde is seen being pushed up against the vehicle’s window as her partner gropes her left breast.

The alleged fireman’s profile claims he is a 27-year-old named Callum – a “down to earth” bisexual is interested in “adult parties, group sex, cross-dressing and dogging,” the Manchester Evening News reported.

The Greater Manchester Fire Service slammed the image, calling it an embarrassment to the department.

“I cannot believe we’re still seeing highly inappropriate images like this in the fire and rescue service in 2017. It’s not who we are,” a spokesman said.

“Firefighters in GMFRS are hard-working and proud to serve their communities,” he added. “We’ll do everything we can to find out about how this picture was made and who was involved. There is no place for this in our organization.” 

Erotic massage Bucharest – top salons in town

In Bucharest erotic massage services are very popular. Many people apply for this type of services to solve the lack of tenderness and eroticism.

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Usually people have a wrong impression, thinking that this service involves sexual contact, but in reality both the masseuse and the client are prohibited from offering, receiving and demand comprehensive sexual services. Before embarking on this kind of services you should know that you will not get sex but you get privacy, relaxation, erotic massage and completions techniques that do not include sex.

We recommend : erotic massage, erotic massage, erotic massage, erotic massage

When you arrive at a massage parlor you will be greeted by beautiful masseuses dressed in sexy gowns, dresses, lingerie or swimwear.

You have to choose the masseuse that you most like by attitude, physics, smile, each one of you according to personal criteria. Then, once chosen the masseuse you should decide on the type of massage you want.

You can choose between Swedish massage, Thai massage, relaxation massage, sports massage, hot stone massage, massage in whirlpool, four hands massage, couples massage, swing, erotic massage or lingam massage. Besides all this, according to your fantasies and available masseuses, they can meet up your fantasies of domination verbal or physical and other fetish. After choosing the desired masseuse in the room she will give up her clothes and she will remain nude, all nude she will execute all types of massage above mentioned. If you do not want nudity please specify this.

Erotic massage and lingam massage are types of massage made by a masseuse with her whole body. The breasts, bottom, thighs, legs, hands, with feet flat on the customer’s genital area.

On the site you can see the ladies available every time with a photo gallery with real pictures, a few words of description, age, experience, services and massage techniques performed by each one. All you have to do is choose the desired combination.

Our massage salons provides professional, high quality services since 2000. Among our clients there are politicians, businessmen, tourists and local people with above average incomes, all of whom agree that we are a five-star brand.

All masseuses are qualified for therapeutic and relaxation massages, are lawfully employed and own medical tests to date. Besides legality and safety we have made sure that each of the 30 girls to be beautiful but in a different way so that each of the clients retrieve ideal masseuse.

The lounges are decorated in oriental style, each room represents a a different area, each one is handmade by an interior designer. The colors, the music, the details,the materials are carefully chosen to create a state of relaxation. Everything is sanitized after each client so that you can relax without a care. Each parlor of the three that we have is centrally located in Bucharest, in elegant villas with own parking, air conditioning and approvals from state institutions.

If you want to benefit from relaxing or erotic massage in the comfort of your home or in your hotel room, you can choose desired masseuse from the gallery, make an appointment and the chosen masseuse will reach you within 30 minutes or at the appointed time . When it has reached the masseuse will have a badge and the invoice and of course the goods needed for massage. All you have to do, if you want, is to open a champagne bottle, choose some beautiful music and take a shower. Showering you can also do when the girls is arrived, together with it.

If you have not experienced before an erotic massage or a relaxing massage performed by a beautiful nude masseuse, if you want to see another joy of life we recommend you to visit our salons and to schedule a meeting.

Will be more than massage. It will be a unique experience, an adventure!

Want a Better Sex Life? Learn to Love Your Body!

Love Your Body: Banish Poor Body Image By Celebrating Your Sexual Spirit

Feeling that your body is not good enough, that is it barely acceptable is something that affects most of us at some point in our lives. When we’re younger, the social ideals of beauty might seem far away but many people still feel obliged to aspire to an unrealistic standard of appearance and get frustrated, angry and despondent when we never look as good as we think we should. When we are older, it is common for people to start to give up on the search for physical perfection yet for many this does not bring relief but misery and a resignation that sex is no longer ‘for’ us anymore. Your perception of your body feeds into your sexual confidence and self-esteem. It can destroy the quality of your sexual experience. Why? Because carrying around negative feelings about your own body means that your capacity for sexual pleasure is compromised. Feeling bad about your body usually means feeling bad about yourself and being critical and judgmental about what you have to offer and what you are worth.

Poor body image affects the quality and quantity of sex that we have. Women are less likely to orgasm, since orgasm means being willing to let go emotionally and physically and able to stay present in the moment. It is difficult to focus on physical sensations when you are worrying whether your bum, breasts or tummy look too big. Insisting on lights-off sex makes things hard for both of you; you can’t relax and your partner can’t really see what’s going on! Men may worry about the size and/or appearance of their genitals and can find that their ability to enjoy sex decreases amidst concerns about their weight, masculinity, attractiveness and value as a sexual partner. As quality suffers, quantity is likely to decline, as sex has become more of an ordeal than a pleasure and strategies for avoiding sex take the place of finding opportunities to have sex. Each thought we have that we are not good enough for sex means that we start to close off the parts of us that we need to embrace: our capacity for fun, playfulness and experimentation.

Be encouraged. It is possible to develop a healthy, positive appreciation of your body. Probably all of us have experienced having great sex with someone who is not a paragon of physical perfection. Did that bother us? Hopefully not! Likewise, physical beauty alone cannot sustain sexual passion over time nor does it compensate for a lack of deeper connection over the long-term. Poor body image can become something you used to feel but that you cannot imagine going back to. We need to apply the same criteria that we use with our own partners to ourselves. Why do so many people expect of themselves a standard of ‘acceptable’ appearance that they do not demand of their partners?

Negative body image is a major factor in sexual inhibition for many of my clients. Breaking free of inhibition requires confidence, which is constantly being undermined by having a poor body image. Shame is a devastating emotion sexually. It dominates our self-talk and the pictures we make inside of our heads that represent our sexual self. Often, when working with a client, they realize that the grotesque image that they have of themselves is overwhelming their sexuality and that steps need to be taken to deflate the power and intensity of their perceived monstrousness. Bringing these realizations out into the open is crucial. When we make efforts to hide or disguise our perceived flaws, we make our sexual worth all about physical appearance, forgetting the role of mind and spirit. Some of my clients have found that Tantra is helpful in overcoming an obsession with bodily perfection, as it is a practice that encourages practitioners to embrace their sexual spirit and all that we are as being the fundamentals of sexual happiness and union.Knowing that your body is not the most important thing that you bring to sex frees you up to bring more of your unique sexual spirit and sexual energy to bed with you. Positive self-talk, affirmations and visualization can help to challenge intrusive negative chatter, as well as working on switching the focus away from what your body does during sex and onto what’s going on in your mind.

Time and time again I have found that changing someone’s sexual focus from what they look like to what makes them unique and special eliminates or greatly reduces concerns about body image. This is largely because anxieties about appearance tend to totally overwhelm us and make us forget about the ‘missing’ parts of ourselves that we don’t recognize because we are too focused on the physical. With my clients, I spend time with them asking them to reflect upon who they are sexually: what is their ideal sexual relationship, what kinds of fantasies do they have (and what themes might spark ideas to being into reality?), what do they like and dislike, what conditions need to be present for ‘peak’ sexual experiences. Answering such questions adds to knowledge, acceptance and helps people realize that there is so much more to their sexuality than they thought.

Too often people see their sex lives starting to slide and give in to their apathy and fear of change because admitting that there is a problem is worse that pretending that everything is alright. In a way, we don’t take sex seriously enough.This does not mean that sex needs to be serious but it surely deserves an investment of time, energy and exploration into how we can make it work best in our lives. All too often, we fail to prioritize it in our life or we have only a superficial and restricted perspective on our sexual potential and possibility.

Sex and relationship coaching helps you to examine your life, your relationship (or lack of one) and sexual satisfaction and enables you to bring back optimism, courage and direction to the sex life you create and the person you want to become. I coach individuals and couples to get in touch with what makes them sexually happy, confident and fulfilled, resolve relationship dissatisfactions and bring you a life full of hope, passion and purpose.

(c) Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach.

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Sex Toys – How to Introduce!

Introducing sex toys into a relationship can take both pleasure and intimacy to the next level and then some. In addition, the element of “fun” is brought into the picture, and being in a fun, playful relationship is something few couples truly achieve due to poor communication. With a sex toy, you can easily build a bridge toward fun sexual intimacy. Here are three important ways to bring sex toys into a relationship.

1. Start slow! Remember you’re building a bridge and before you can put up the foundation you need to prep the work area. Introducing any outside element into sexual relations can be challenging. The easiest prep tool to use in order to ease into sex toys, are lotions or oils. What you are doing here is simply introducing a third element into your intimate relations, and you’re starting with something simple. Once erotic oils and lotions are used, you’ve opened the door for other intimacy tools to be added in the future.

2. The foundation! You’re foundation will set the stage for further sex toy adventures, so it’s important to choose the right foundation. What you’re looking to do here is to introduce an actual sex toy into the relationship. But it has to be a sex toy which is simple, gentle, and easy. In other words your foundation sex toy shouldn’t be some elaborate contraption. You’ll easily scare off your partner. Your foundation should be basic and something easy which you can further build upon in the near future. Various ticklers and the like would be an example of a simple foundations to begin building your sex toy adventures around.

3. Avoid the Crutch! You want to avoid becoming sex toy addicted and every intimate encounter having to rely on a sex toy. That is, don’t turn a sex toy into a crutch. Use it only to enhance the relationship, not serve as the centerpiece where every intimate encounter is going to require a sex toy in order for pleasure to be achieved.

Sex toys, or intimacy tools, can be used as an automatic bridge to bring one another closer while achieving intimacy on a level never previously experienced.


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Specific Sex Lubricant

Sex without wetness is pure torture while a well lubricated sex is pleasant; but unfortunately natural lubrication could elude you due to emotional upset or biological changes in your body. Even for well-rounded women without emotional hang-up, a prolonged sexual intercourse could still bring about vaginal dryness.

Sex without adequate lubrication, especially for women, can be uncomfortable and even painful; a sex lubricant can make all the difference if the appropriate sex lubricant is used specifically.

If your vaginal dryness is due to emotional trauma, then all you have to do is lively up yourself; life is to be lived – how can you live without enjoyable sex?

If on the other hand, your dryness is biological, then you have to give your vagina a little help with a sex lubricant you can find both online and at your neighbourhood pharmacy.


An appropriate sex lubricant is a saving grace for any woman who has lubrication problem; but sex lubricants have their down sides:

Water based sex lubricant:

This is the favourite sex lubricant; it is very good and friendly to latex – diaphragm and condom. The down side is that it can dry up easily such that sexual intercourse gets interrupted from time to time to add more of the water based sex lubricants.

Oil based sex lubricant:

This sex lubricant will last longer during intercourse, but you have to be careful, because oil based sex lubricants degrade latex and as such condoms or diaphragms become risky protectors against both unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. Your condom or diaphragm can give away without warning, and oil based sex lubricants can also cause irritation to the vagina

Finally, it is apparent to suggest that water based sex lubricants should be used for vaginal sex while oil based sex lubricant should be favoured for anal sex.

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Tantric Sex – Learning How To Connect Physically, Emotionally & Spiritually With Your Partner

In recent years there has been a growing interest in tantric sex – but what is it? Tantric practice originated in India over 6000 years ago as a reaction to the spiritual teaching of the time that believed that sexual and bodily expression prevented the attainment of enlightenment – tantra means to expand, manifest and to weave together, so it is a way of integrating the physical with the emotional and spiritual. Intimate sexual connection with another human being is likely to be the most beautiful and meaningful experience of our lives. It can easily take us into higher levels of consciousness. Sex is a celebration and sharing of our loving essence with another person. It is also a way of integrating the feminine and masculine aspects of our psychology that lie within both men and women.

Unfortunately sex can also be the cause of frustration, disappointment and emotional pain within a relationship. Sex can become one of the ways we compensate for the guilt and fear that come out of Dependence – we might use it rather like an aesthetic to take away our pain or to release stress. When used for gratification, sex loses its potential to bring us into closer relationship with our lover. What started off in the Honeymoon stage of our relationship as an intense physical attraction can change to one of disgust and loathing if it is simply used as a way of gaining pleasure and release. Eventually sex can become dull and boring.

Sex becomes problematic when it triggers our fear of intimacy – the physical closeness makes us feel emotionally vulnerable. The intimacy means that our insecurities and needs are literally laid bare for our partner to see. Any low self-esteem will be emphasized in a sexual relationship and tend to prevent us from bonding fully. This is made worse by any negative beliefs we may have about our bodies. There may be layers of sexual guilt around unhealed oedipal issues with our opposite sex parent that create a physical and emotional separation. Some religious doctrines and societal cultures have the unfortunate effect of creating sexual guilt and this too can make it difficult to fully express ourselves physically.

We have problems with sex if it is being used to meet our needs – when we are trying to satisfy ourselves and to raise our self-esteem by using another person. The way through these problems is to ensure that sex is a celebration of love During the early ‘Honeymoon’ stage of a relationship, sex is invariably good because it is part of an unconditional giving and receiving of love. It is significant that in our language, the act of sexual intercourse is called making love. Sex is therefore a wonderful opportunity to express our mutual love in a relationship – it removes any tendency to objectify our partner. If we are working to heal fear and guilt in our relationship, we will be removing the emotional separation with our partner, and this will automatically bring us physically closer. Eye contact is also important. During the Honeymoon stage, the level of eye contact between lovers is usually very high due to the intensity of the loving connection. Maintaining eye contact with our partner during sex allows us to join with them in the way that brings us very close. As the loving connection builds, we will move into higher levels of consciousness, to the point where sex has a spiritual dimension.

The Tantric takes sex from an emotional and physical experience into the spiritual

For sex to become a spiritual experience we need to accept our bodies as integrated parts of our spirituality. In the past we may have separated the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our identity. In the Tantric these all come together. To do this we need to remove all judgment from our bodies and become fully present physically.

Normally, the discovery of spiritual levels of sexual connection come as part of a personal quest for healing – where we progressively let go of fear and insecurity and become ever more present and still. During sex we can feel an increased closeness to our partner and then extend the sensations of bonding to the spiritual. It is a matter of being willing to bond at the deepest level and being able to let go of our resistance to feeling so close to somebody. As we drop our protective defenses we invite our partner to see and join with our spirit. As we feel safe, our partner will feel the same. This is not something that we have to learn, because this connection is, and has always been present – its just that we’ve failed to notice it. Obviously any guilt and low self-esteem or emotional and spiritual dissociation will act as a barrier to this level of connection, so we need to forgive ourselves and feel totally innocent during this process. In the tantric process there is a powerful sense of surrender – not in a frightening way but in a way that opens us up to every sensation that is available to us, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

During tantric sex we will be fully present in our bodies and feel an incredibly strong emotional and spiritual bond with our partner. It will feel as if we have melted together in love. As the masculine gift of love is fully received by the feminine, both parties are nurtured and uplifted. Not surprisingly, these can be the most amazing and joy filled experiences of our life. It is the total integration of two people and represents the ultimate pleasure that can be obtained in a relationship.

The physical aspects of sex that are often the main attraction at the beginning of the relationship, become part of a much larger emotional and spiritual experience in the Tantric stage. Many couples complain that their sex lives have lost their sparkle after many years together. This happens because they have allowed themselves to drift apart emotionally and spiritually. As we discover self-love and are able to fully connect with our partner, there is no reason why our sex lives cannot get better and better. It is through the realms of Tantric Mastery that our love for our partner grows ever stronger.


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Sex And Success

Most people often recoil at the mention of the word sex, and do not realise the importance of sex as an ingredient for success. This prejudice against discussions about sex is greatest among religiously inclined people who tend to associate sex with sin mentally. They fail to realise that sex per se is not sinful. What is sinful, if one must use this word, is the abuse or misuse of sex.

Do you really want to know how sex can help you achieve success? Then let’s first discuss what sex is all about. Sex is an activity which ensures procreation of the human species. To that extent, it is very important. However, for man, the highest in the hierarchy of creation, sex is more than just for procreation. It is used for the expression of love and companionship. Yet sex has a more sublime function in human existence, unknown to most people.

Dr. Napoleon Hill, a well known American motivation expert, listed the positive benefits of sex as human procreation, health therapy and the transmutation of sex energy into genius. There is still another aspect of sex Dr. Hill did not discuss in his lectures. This is the unseen or the psychic aspect of sex. Some years ago, a British metaphysician, Dr. Kirlian was able to examine the human aura, the delicate human shaped shell the surrounds the body. What aided him to see this normally invisible covering was an equipment called the Kilner’s goggles. The aura was said to possess different colours at various times, depending on the mental disposition of the person observed. Happiness produced a bright coloured aura while sadness or ill health produced a dull aura.

Now some psychics and parapsychologists have been able to sense the aura without the aid of any instrument. They have relied upon what they described as the sixth sense or clairvoyance. These mediums have been known to be able to assess the quality of the human aura, especially the effect on it of sexual activity. It is said that sex can affect the aura positively or negatively and through this, your affairs and your life.

This is why your sex partner should possess a good or uplifting aura. If you engage in sexual activity with a partner with a good aura, both auras are enhanced further. This is a clear example where the total becomes greater than the sum of the parts. If however one partner has a bad aura, this can pollute the aura of the other sex partner with dire consequences for the couple. Good aura can promote excellent health, good luck and inspiration or creativity in the individual.

This phenomenon of aura influence on sex and human affairs was long recognised in African societies. Take Nigeria as an example. Here it is believed that the effect of aura is so great that an oracle medium is consulted to determine or make an assessment. Sometimes, the medium would reveal that the proposed spouse has some bad “influence”. Note the word used “influence”, because they have no word for aura. Yet the outcome is the same. A bad influence or aura in a spouse is believed to affect the entire life of the other partner. Hence people begin to do better in business and other life’s pursuits after marriage to a partner with a benevolent aura or influence. Disaster or ill fortune is supposed to dog a partner with a negative aura. This can affect well being and even life itself.

The bottom line is that sex is not simply a physical activity. It is also psychic in nature, which can enhance your invisible aura and therefore your success or failure in life. This is a cardinal area of the Success through Mind Power philosophy, which has been espoused in my book of the same name. This philosophy has been the subject of the many lectures the author has delivered especially at the famous National War College in Abuja, Nigeria, where he has been a guest lecturer for several years now.


Author: Michael Obi

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